Thursday, June 08, 2006

Guest Post: Hunchback of the Archaeology Building

The following is a cautionary tale of woe:

After years of cataloguing, her neck and back destroyed, her hopes of a future in archaeology ruined, her friends scattered across the globe, the Hunchback decided to live within the confines of the Archaeology Building forever. Living in room 340 with only her DVDs of Deadwood and Star Wars to sustain her, she slowly sunk deeper into a realm of fantasies and regret. Grad students would whisper amongst themselves the stories of how a once promising archaeology princess let her bitterness, fear of change, and fear of failure destroy her. Supervisors would warn wayward grad students to buckle down or they would end up like the Hunchback. Sometimes, at night when all was quiet, grad students could hear her once quick footsteps, now a slow and sad shuffling, as she moped around the building, the secret passages leading from 340 as her gateway within the building, like a phantom. Often, grad students, half crazy from writing and cataloguing could hear the sounds of the Imperial March and run screaming out of the building, fearing the capture of the Hunchback. It is said that if caught by the hunchback, a fate worse than death would befall you and you too will sink into the depths of bitterness, lonliness, and fear that were her undoing. Arriving early in the morning the mark of the Hunchback can be seen in dark corners of offices and hallways, small fragments of white earthenware (or is it Ironstone--another cause of the Hunchback's intellectual and emotional collapse) and Lego. It is also said that if you are left the Han Solo Legoman you have been chosen by the Hunchback, and must either retreat into hiding or succomb to her will and desires as she tries to guide you along the path of Archaeology that was her undoing (in a feeble attempt to make up for her transgressions).

So, I caution all viewers of this post to watch out for the Hunchback and the reek of bitterness and brown sugar body lotion that follow her, because once you have been trapped, there is no escape.

Have a great day everyone.

The Hunchback


carrie said...

LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So perfectly tormented and yet wistfull. Good luck everyone still left in the 55 Campus Drive.

kas said...

heheheh. this is the kind of colaboration that only happens when nisse and i are the only people in the building...

Anonymous said...

No I don't believe it! There's no such thing as the Hunchback!

Anonymous said...

Man, that made me laugh. Oh sistor